The Burningsoul's World

I was born a Brahmin and I will propably die like that , Yet for the first time in my life, I just dont feel living. I am a animal driven by a shephard, Even he is not anywhere, Nor me, . For Once, I want to be unknown to the whole world. For once I want to be alone, Just me and myself. For once, I want to face the darkness without fear. For Once, I want to love someone with all my heart. For Once, I want to live this life, For once, I want to be surrounded with a garden of misery yet i be immunised against them. For once I want to be out of this misery I call as life. For once I want to be dead. Just dead. For once, I want no one to Cry when I die. A soullless death.For Once I want to be a employee, For Once I want to be A gardener, For once i want to cry Just cry....

I was always amazed at the power of what Fire and Water could command over this mortal man. yet man tamed them , Tamed fire , Tamed Water, And now he tries to Tame God. God .. I dont know who he is , Or what he is Or even if he is there.. Religion has often tried to fool me to believe that I been a hindu so I be a hindu and workship so and so God. now God I have never seen this Substance . This substance which man has used to manipulate his life. There was one incident which struck me. I was in 9th and I had 2 friends 1. Sri Hari Iyer A south indian Brahmin he is a strict follower of the same and there was Ethesham Shaikh, Now there is a practice called as Tutions or Classes where mortals sit before another mortal seeking knowledge for the knowledge acquired at school is considered not enough by them. Now i was amoong them, This shri hari said to ethesham, Dont sit near me, You are a Muslim. I didnt understand why He said that.

Ethesham and I were good friends and still are. I never realised he was a muslim and I was a hindu. I couldnt understand the complexities of religion i was pushed in there.I love God But not Gods, His God and my God Are the same. We are of the same blood are the things taught to us. But we do not follow. Today I and ethesham sit and eat in the same plate but Shri hari is unknown to us. Now here, the unity between us is of friendship but not of religion. Now Religion is something man made to Unite man against peril and keep away frm Evil..I dont know if Gods exists. But if your up there man Prove it to me. I just cannot feel you anywhere. Sometimes I feel your dead the same like I am dead for you.

I sat at the window Apparently after toturning my head at the hands of a barber thinking these thoughts, then Sky burst into droplets of modified Oval shaped creatstures lifeless we call as Rain. i had my dog with me on the window, The stuck out her hand towards the rain to feel it. I well, I didnt do anything. I was just shattered at my life and the idea of being a Cog in that whole Structure this man God shapes for me. The next day I woke up, i was normal and leaving for the office. I picked up breakfast for me and the girls and left on my vehicle.i had my hat on so the drizzling rain couldnt affect me. I reached the office and headed out for a coffe without the hat. The rain drops rushed at me naked bald head and attempted to crush me with their power. Yet they were soothing and the anger i conforted into my body got reduced. The question i was asking myself ..... for so many years, So many times, So many freakin times......... got answered. God is in the Rain.

I today am not a hindu, Not a brahmin. I do not workship anyone but just God without any form or structure. I workship Nature. I workship God. I workship God.

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written by Rahul, July 23, 2008

Great Man Great... Touching

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